It is the waiting that is so tough. For those of you who follow my blog know that I am referring to the wait encountered while a loved one is in surgery. Every human emotion cycles through your very being. You begin with a positive attitude filled with confidence that all will be fine. God has the situation in hand and worrying is just a waste of energy.
My faith has always served me well and I know that all of our friends and family members are joining forces with prayer and support. My hubby is now in the care of an experienced heart surgeon and all I can do is wait.
The wait as a patient is different than the wait for a loved one. Seven months ago, I had brain surgery for my Parkinson’s. It was a different experience as the patient. Of course, I was apprehensive, mainly because of the delicacy of placing electrodes in the brain with the apparent risks. But for the majority of the time, I was in the process of the surgical journey: pre op, surgery, post op and fairly unaware of the process. Time was not measurable to me. In fact, it all seems like a blur.
As a loved one, I have a whole different perspective on a major operation. The time that my loved one is out of sight seems like eternity. My mind starts to imagine the worst… The “what ifs” start entering my thoughts. What if…..there is a complication, the damage to the heart is more extensive, the new vessels don’t take, there is a heart attack during the operation, there is a stroke? Wow, too much to process all at once. I go back to focusing on the presence and the positive. I continue to pray for strength to face whatever comes my way and I continue waiting.
Waiting, waiting, waiting….
Praying hands image from Pinterest.