What’s in a word? Shakespeare asked the question that continues to evoke all sorts of emotions depending on what word it is.. Cancer is one of those words, really just an ensemble of letters that form a word that produces intense emotions, such as fear, anxiety, depression, etc. Cancer is scary.
As a health professional, I found that often our patients wanted to avoid even the mention of the word. So we initially used terms like condition or disease. We often eased into using the actual word even though the word, “cancer,” was already rolling around in their head. Many of them believe if you openly say the word, “cancer,” it makes it real. Yet, sometimes you need to actually put the cards on the table and just come out and use the word. Facing the fear of cancer begins with being forthcoming and saying what it is, cancer.
This became real during the last several months when my husband was diagnosed with bladder cancer. It changes things. Even admitting that he has cancer takes a whole lot of gumption and conjures up all kinds of feelings. Like experiencing the stages of dying and grief (Kubler Ross), you go through similar phases. Of course, denial is often the first thought. Not me! Not my loved one! At some point, we both experienced anger and depression and finally we accepted what’s happening and worked with the health care team in developing a treatment plan.
It has been several months since the word, cancer, became part of our everyday vocabulary. It still feels uncomfortable watching the reactions of others when they first hear of his diagnosis. We are open and forth right with our grown kids, our family and are friends. We do not know where the cancer road will lead, but we are thinking positive thoughts and praying that the immunotherapy works. Our hope is to make the word, “cancer,“ one that we use in describing the past…..and not the future.
