Slow and Steady
When I get out of the car, my husband often reminds me to hurry up because of the air condition. I would, if I could, but I can’t. I just cannot move as quickly as I use to before I had Parkinson’s. It is an interesting phenomenon because my brain clearly tells my feet to go, but they do not listen. When most people exit the car, they are thinking of something else, like what they are going to do next. When I open the car door, I must consciously think about the next movements I need my body to make. I focus my brain to send the commands to my legs so that I can eventually make it all work and eventually remove myself from the car.
The same thing happens when I sit in a chair or on the sofa. I do not automatically get up, I tune my brain to the messenger center and remind my extremities to do what they are told. Sometimes they listen, sometimes they do not. After having Parkinson’s for over five years, I am use to this chain of reactions (or non-reactions). But I admit, it is a weird feeling when it happens. It reminds me of the game we played when I was little where you attached two tin cans to each other using a string. We played telephone by talking and listening into the cans. With Parkinson’s, it feels like the string is broken and you just have to shout the message to the other person. I feel my brain is shouting to my body to do whatever needs to be done, but the connecting wires carrying the messages are broken. So there are times that no matter how loudly the brain shouts to the body, it just does not get the signal. Frustrating, yes, but totally tolerable.
The slowing down of movements has made me decrease the pace of my life. I have come to appreciate the slow and steady rhythm of my body and rather like it over the hectic, fast-pace I maintained most of my life. Juggling family, work and caregiving for many years made me almost numb and certainly drained me. I found I was often tired and overwhelmed, but just kept on keeping on. Now the Parkinson’s has forced me to slow down. I go to bed earlier to replenish the much needed dopamine I lose during the day. (Dopamine is made and stored during sleep.) And I take naps in the afternoon. Again, something I never did before having PD. The rest really helps with replacing dopamine, but it has an added effect of just calming down life and enjoying the moment.
So now I have learned slow and steady is not such a bad thing. I steady myself when I put on my clothes. I always stand against the wall as I pull on my skirt or pants. I sit and put on one shoe at a time, slowly. I try to do one thing at a time. I do not mix talking on the phone with cooking as I use to do. I once was a master at multitasking, but now I just try to unitask and like it much better. I hear better, I listern better and I engage with others better.
Perhaps I came upon this change of out of necessity, but I have found it to be a healthier alternative rather than living life in the fast lane, I have learned to take things slow and steady.
